Gazilla: Jokes for Tues., July 29
Note: Italics have been added for extra humor points.
Addressing the war in Gaza on Monday, House Speaker John Boehner said, “At times like this, people try to isolate Israel.” Which explains that time he tried hugging that dude right after the guy stabbed a bunch of people.
Meanwhile, senators from New York, Maryland, and South Carolina wrote a letter to the president, saying, “Israel must be allowed to take any actions necessary to remove those threats.” The last time these states agreed on something? Just how cool the slave trade was.
On Tuesday, Israeli knocked out the Gaza Strip’s power plant, leaving 1.7 million without electricity and parents having to get in touch with their children the old-fashioned way: finding their bodies laying in the streets.
Worse, Tuesday’s attack left at least 26 Palestinian civilians dead. Though there’s a good chance at least some of them didn’t like Israel.
OKCupid has admitted to experimenting on users. Most users were fine with the news since they’re no stranger to being experimented on.
OKCupid’s founder said, “Guess what, everybody: If you use the Internet, you’re the subject of hundreds of experiments at any given time, on every site. That’s how websites work.” So suck on that, people who know HTML.
A new study says 35 percent of Americans are being sought by debt collectors. However, that’s according to the ones who still answer their phones when they see an unlisted number.
Interestingly, that percentage has stayed roughly the same since 2009’s Great Recession. Or as one-third of the population refers to it, 2009.
A campaign in London is attempting to get strangers to talk more to one another. They’re calling it "Drinking."